Sometimes I wonder if the choices we are required to make are actually acquired by our own volition. As in, am I the one creating too many decisions to be made or are they truly real decisions that must be made?
In our desire to simplify, I try (and fail) over and over again to avoid too many decisions. I believe that decision fatigue is a real thing. When we spend our days making hundreds of little decisions, over and over every day, the result is exhaustion.
Two weeks ago, my friends at Culver informed me that a position in my specialty opened. Similar to my decision over the summer on whether to take the dean position at a start-up independent school, I found myself wrestling with the same concerns. Mainly, am I ready to work full-time? How would I feel putting the girls in daycare? Can we honestly afford a major job change? Would Kirk be able to find work? The position comes with amazing perks and the location is ideal for raising a family.
Ultimately, I decided that it is not the right time for me to return to work outside the home.
My days with my girls are long in the daily moments, but short in the scope of this life. Every choice has a hidden price, and I am not willing to sacrifice my days with my girls.
In the meantime, I will continue teaching online and enjoying the sweetness and challenges of being a work at home mom.