It's me, your 30 year old self checking in. Last I heard you were living in Boston with friends, completing an internship at the Museum of Fine Arts, and found out you and Kirk are expecting your first.* Eeek! Although I know you're freaking out, repeat after me: it will be okay.
Babies put all sorts of weird notions into our heads, like the need to buy a house or be perfectly settled in some sort of suburban dream. As your older, wiser self, I can tell you that this is not entirely necessary. You will learn that you and Kirk are home to your future children, no matter where you live.
And speaking of that, try not to make decisions when you're sleep deprived. Or have post-partum depression. But once you do, make the best of it. Embrace the change and see your life as one big adventure, because I'll tell ya, Kate, life only gets better the farther you are on the journey.
And here are a few platitudes to guide you (and please quit rolling your eyes, your cynicism is so out of place here):
- Do what makes you absolutely joyful and don't worry so much about money
- Trust that you are the expert on your children and live accordingly
- Love your husband and your kids for who they are and not who you wish they were
- Don't be so afraid of everything and instead embrace adventure
- Write. Every. Single. Day. Amen.
The next five years of your life will be challenging, amazing, eye-opening, and will take you in a direction you cannot imagine right now. Trust that you are on the right path.
All the best,
Your future self
PS. You know those super fancy cell phones people are just starting to use in 2010, you know the ones that have maps in them so you don't have to print directions? Dude, you will not believe what we do with those phones now. I regularly video chat with a future friend of yours that lives in Germany. We are so high-tech five years later!
**So I know that my little story about living apart from my husband and finding out I was pregnant warrants a bit of an explanation, lest you all think we were having marital problems. In 2010, I was nearly finished with my grad degree in Museum Administration, but needed an internship. My best friend lived in Boston at the time, and so Kirk and I decided that we could spend 6 weeks apart while I completed a dream internship. Little did we know that I would get pregnant right before leaving and spend the entire time in Boston wishing I was home instead.