We spent all late winter and early spring in deep anticipation for the arrival of our last baby. This past summer as we traveled across the country, Kirk and I mostly agreed that we were done having children. But apparently there is something to be said about unplanned joys that come on the heels of a great adventure; and we are now two weeks into celebrating the birth of our littlest explorer, Edgar Phoenix.
This is most certainly not a birth story (as I am not so comfortable sharing more intimate details), but a brief re-telling of how our family of four became a family of five.
The weeks leading up to his birth were challenging. Our oldest was having difficulty sleeping at night, and I alternated between feeling ready for the transition and completely unprepared. The few days after Easter the girls spent with my parents, and Kirk and I focused on preparing for labor. We took nightly walks, the evenings blessed with a touch of summer warmth and light breezes, and we slowly navigated the sidewalks of our downtown neighborhood hand in hand. But one evening, after dinner at a local grass-fed burger joint and a few episodes into How I Met Your Mother, and I realized that I was most definitely in labor. One very bumpy and uncomfortable midnight drive to the birth center over an hour away, and we were very close to meeting him. There was a birthing tub and dimmed lights, quiet words from our midwife, and the later arrival of my parents with the girls. The girls came in to give me kisses and then slept on the couches, awaiting their little brother. Just shy of dawn he arrived in the water, and in that beautiful pause between water and air, our family was reborn into the next chapter of our story. Kirk, Edgar, and I moved to the bed and rested, the early morning light rising through the soft window shades, welcoming a new day and new life.
Two weeks in, and we are settling into a rhythm of rest, time reading aloud as a family, and late night nursings. If it feels touched with the bittersweet, it is only because of the knowledge that we aren't planning to have anymore. So we'll enjoy our little change-maker, the unexpected one who is part and parcel with our family's transition into a new and better story.
And then again, never say never.